Why Morning Routines Matter SO Much For Kids
Aug 22, 2024
Did you know that rushing your kids out the door with phrases like, “Come on, we need to leave right now, or we’ll be late!” can negatively affect their experience that day and in the future? It’s critical to create a low-stress morning routine, and in this post, I’ll convince you with three reasons why it’s worth the effort to bring the kids to school calmly.
The Brain-Body Connection
First, imagine you’re running late for an appointment or an important meeting, or even that you might miss the exercise class you really wanted to attend today; how would your body feel? Tight, nervous, jittery? How about your mind - how would that feel? Distracted, careless, stressed? Humans are not at their best when they’re rushed, and of course, you want your child to be at their best when they’re headed to school - both in terms of their behavior for you getting out the door and their behavior and readiness to learn in the classroom.
But that’s only part of the problem. What’s really happening in your body when you’re rushed is your brain releases the stress hormone cortisol. Cortisol is meant to help the body manage stress and help you escape from truly dangerous situations, like a lion attacking you. It gives you an energy boost and helps your body perform better. This is often referred to as a fight-or-flight response.
However, constantly rushing and running late is not a truly dangerous situation, and it’s hard for our brains to differentiate true dangers from modern stressors like school start times and deadlines. The problem with rushing kids is that their bodies release unhealthy amounts of the stress hormone cortisol. There have been numerous well-conducted psychology research studies showing harmful negative effects of chronic stress, from anxiety and depression to digestive problems, headaches, sleep problems, heart disease, and problems with memory and focus.
Our bodies do not like to be stressed, and rushing the kids out the door every morning is stressful, so parents need to get intentional about creating a relaxing morning routine and getting the kids off to school without the frantic hustle.
The School-Stress Connection
Second, has your child ever said, “I hate school!” to you? That’s a tough one to work through successfully, and having kids fight you on going to school every day can be a parent’s worst nightmare. One of my kiddos has undergone phases like that, so I understand entirely that challenging dynamic. To improve the situation, you want to do everything you can to create an environment that supports your child’s thinking of school as a positive thing in their life. There are several factors that go into this, from the words you choose to use when talking about school with your child to the routines you set up around the school day.
The morning routine is essential for developing a positive association with the school. In psychology, learning through association is called classical conditioning. When your morning routine is chaotic, and your child feels stressed rushing out the door to school every day, they begin to associate school with that feeling of stress.
Before they even enter the schoolyard, they’re primed, both mentally and physiologically, thanks to that cortisol release, to think of school as a stressful place to be. Kids who are stressed at school have a more challenging time with everything from behavior to emotional well-being, school success, and friendships. Did you know that yelling, “We need to leave right now, or we’ll be late for school,” could mean worse behavior and trouble getting along with friends hours later?
In contrast, studies have shown that children who are given a calm and peaceful morning routine are more likely to be focused and attentive throughout the day. They’re also more likely to exhibit better behavior and have a stronger bond with their parents. It’s worth slowing down in the mornings to set your child up for success at school.
The Parent-Child Connection
Third, there is another powerful way that children learn about their world, which is a process psychologist Albert Bandura called modeling. Think of it as being a role model for your child, but the extent of your influence may be far greater than you ever realized. Children constantly observe their parents and learn how the world works by watching them. This goes for simple behaviors as well as a series of complex behaviors. Every day, you model behavior to be mimicked by your child, from the hand gestures you use when you talk on the phone to whatever exclamation you make when you stub your toe. Children often repeat these subtle mannerisms.
They also repeat patterns of behavior they observe. If they see you rushing around, feeling stressed and agitated every morning, you can bet they’re internalizing this concept of what mornings should look like. That means, rather than having a relaxing morning that prepares them for a happy and productive day at school, they’re more likely to get that cortisol overload we talked about earlier that is associated with short-term and long-term mental and physical problems.
That also means that rather than getting in the right mindset for school, they’re more likely to associate school with rushing and negativity, as we talked about with learning through association. In turn, you’re more likely to hear, “I hate school” or “I don’t want to go to school,” which makes parenting challenging.
Take-Home Message
Imagine having quality time with your kid in the morning, enjoying a quiet breakfast together, or conversing about their day. Wouldn’t that be amazing? But when we rush, we sacrifice this quality time, opting instead for a chaotic and stressful morning routine. That has adverse effects on our children, both in the short-term and in the long run. It’s not easy slowing down (believe me, I’ve been guilty of rushing my kids out the door on many a morning), but it’s worth it. If you’re motivated to make a change, check out Master Your Family's Morning Routine To Get To School On Time for actionable tips to make it happen.
