How to Keep Your Little One from “Bonking”

People sometimes ask if I use my training as a clinical psychologist (who diagnoses and treats mental disorders) on my children and thankfully there’s no need for that but many of the treatment tools I used to use with patients are applicable in parenting normally developing children. There are a number of different styles of psychological therapy but the most widely used evidence-based approach is cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). CBT focuses on identifying and modifying unhelpful patterns in cognitions (your thoughts, beliefs, and attitudes) and behaviors (your actions). In previous posts I’ve introduced the topic of problem-solving using the acronym SOLVE (see Solve Your Parenting Problems in 5 Steps from 3/8/17) which is one tool in the cognitive-behavioral therapist’s toolbox. Some problems are more complex and really require you to work through each of the steps. But sometimes you may notice a parenting problem and just have that “ah ha” moment, especially if you get in the habit of thinking like a cognitive behavioral therapist.

If you stuck with me through the nutritional lesson in my last post, here’s a quick tip related to snacks that stems from one of those “ah ha” problem-solving moments. I was recently carpooling with an excellent mom, very knowledgeable and loving. We had our 9 year-olds on an outing during a time when they would normally be having snack at school and it was clear they were “bonking” (our family’s term for unexpected dips in behavior due to low blood sugar levels). No problem; I just reached for a box I keep in the car with different snack options: nuts, apple sauce pouches, granola bars, and fig bars. The box lives in my car and is restocked as needed. Everything has a long shelf life and is relatively mess-free, though occasionally some apple sauce goes flying. So if anybody is ever staving while we’re in the car or I forget to pack a snack for our trip to the park, we’re covered. You can probably imagine me driving in my early parenting years with just one child on a day when he was horribly upset during the car ride home from a park because I didn’t have any snacks left. Amidst the hysterical crying, I thought here’s a parenting problem and I need to solve it to help my child and keep my sanity while driving. I started running through the problem-solving steps in my head when an “ah ha” moment struck me and I thought, there’s no reason for me to ever be without a snack for a hungry child; I’ll just keep them in the car. I’ve been doing this for years and when this mom commented on what a great idea it was, I though wow, if this super mom doesn’t know this trick, I’d best post it on my blog for others who might benefit from the tip. Maybe you can benefit from the car snack box or maybe you have other daily parenting struggles that might benefit from thinking like a behavioral psychologist and searching for your “ah ha” moment.

Pack Those Snacks With Protein

I am thrilled to be back at the keyboard after focusing on four kids for the summer, playing the role of contractor on our home for a few months, and surviving some rather chaotic interactions with Mother Nature in our dear little town. I have been strategizing future posts and am so excited to get back to this concept of integrating principles from psychology into parenting to help you and your children have more fulfilling interactions on a daily basis. Today’s topic is snacks. If it doesn’t sound like there is a psychological principle in there, read on.

First of all, just a quick reminder that kids are rapidly growing, super fast metabolizing creatures that need to be fed often. Young children need three meals a day and at least two snacks (somewhere around 9am and 3pm depending on their nap schedule and what time your family eats their meals). You probably know that meals should include a protein, fruit and/or vegetable, grain, and dairy. Snacks should also be well-rounded. A friend once talked about how her son’s mood tended to dip in the afternoon. As we started chatting about snacks, it turned out she was not regularly providing a protein at snack time because that seemed like something you save for mealtime. For adults, that might be fine – just have an apple in the afternoon to tide you over until dinner. Young kids, however, need that protein boost in the morning and afternoon. Peanut butter, eggs, cheese, etc. can help your little one stay happy and healthy. It does take time each day to put together five protein-packed dining experiences for your kids but trust me, the improvement in mood, both your child’s and yours in turn, is worth it.

Ok, now where’s the psychology? This is a brief, tangible introduction to the field of developmental psychology, the study of how and why humans change over the course of their lives. Many future posts will touch on topics from developmental psychology, such as understanding developmental stages of growth to help parents have realistic expectations for their children. Here I just wanted to introduce the overarching concept that children are not just little adults. Children have different thinking styles, behavioral patterns, nutritional needs, emotional experiences, concepts of time, etc. Our goal as parents is to help them mature so that one day all of these facets of human life are more consistent with ours as adults, but this happens in baby steps, so to speak. From the time they start eating solids until sometime later in elementary school, they’ll need those extra snacks!